In the beginning there was nothing. The great mallard swam across the oceans. There was peace, there was no suffering. All of the great mallards children guarded the earth in peace.
Chicken however was unhappy with the situation. Unlike his father, the duck, he was a poor swimmer. Every day he cursed the day he was born. Thus he plotted revenge. Chicken and his allies ravaged the world for 10,000 days. The carnage was immeasurable.
The final stand
The penguin was the youngest among the children of the great mallard. The great duck and his allies where surrounded around the bearing straight. The great mallard hatched a plan to perform a false surrender and escape when chicken let his guard down. Penguin however accidentally raised the wrong flag.
Thus chicken created the land and the continents for him and his allies. Penguin, knowing both sides hated him, make the oceans salty so neither the duck nor the chicken could reach him. Ducks where bannished to small freshwater ponds.
Thus the great duck cursed all the land animals and creatures of the sea to forever hunt eachother. "Cursed is this world that I have created" he said. "I hereby swear I will not rest until the destruction..." But he was interrupted by a little girl feeding bread to the ducks in the pond. Hungry as he was he decided to delay the curse. For this reason the girl was called "Unimator", the curse breaker.
The great mallard swore "As long as you and your children keep feeding us bread, the world will not be destroyed. The girl kept feeding the duck every day and her children continued the tradition after she eventually died. Through the blessing of the duck her children grew into a great nation, Leïk-Unimator, the nation of the curse breaker.
The founding of the church
Soon the nation became big and involved in international politics. It became time for budget cuts since Leïk-Unimatar was fighting a war. The king decided to feed the ducks white rather than brown bread to save money for the war. The ducks were not happy and no rain fell for 7 years. Many died in the famine. Thus the nation's elders came together and proclaimed “Never again”. They decreed that a pope must be selected, a man with close ties to the ducks. The pope should make sure that a king is selected who will not anger the ducks.
Thus it was decided that all followers of the duck must follow these basic rules:
- Thou shalt feed ducks only high quality brown bread
- Thou shalt not kill any child of Unimatar, for that will expedite the curse.
- Thou shalt eat chicken, for the chicken is the evil one
- Thou shalt not misuse the name of the great mallard or of the godmother.
- Thou shalt report violations of these rules to the church
- Thou shalt be able to receive forgiveness for any in exchange for cash. The church accepts cash, card, paypal, and bitcoin.